Sunday Thoughts

When I got here six months ago, I was so eager to just get out.  
I wanted to find a job where I could make all the money, focus strictly on how and when I was going to finally have a plan,
and jet off to wherever said plan would take me as soon as I could.
I hated Florida. I wanted nothing to do with being here.
Having to be somewhere that you did not voluntarily choose to be is rough.
Typically, when you are in the gap between graduating undergrad and figuring out your life,
you move home.
Home; to where all of your old friends gather,
where you can meet at the bar and talk about how you have no idea what you're doing with your future.
My parents moved to Florida while I was in university.
So moving home meant
moving to a place where I hadn't spent longer than a week at.
That's where I was last November.
I had just finished up a temporary position in Massachusetts.
I had turned down a full-time position
that could have easily been my first step into the real-world.
I was returning from the biggest month of my life to date,
October in London,
which if you've read previously - did not go quite as planned.
So after this - I moved 'home',
a foreign place that I was somehow supposed to considered a comfort.
I've dealt with challenges,
I've been in places I didn't want to be,
but overall, whether I liked it or not, it was my own choice do that.
This was a new situation - something I hadn't done before.
And it was something I didn't want to do.
Stubborn? Maybe. Dramatic? Probably.
I went through about 4 different jobs within two months,
I fought with my parents, I questioned where my life was actually going.
Once my plans to move back to London finally surfaced in January,
and things began to move towards a positive direction,
things started to look up.
I began to look at my life,
and taking the situation as a challenge.
I can find a way to enjoy anywhere, so why can't I like it here?
I started looking at what I did have, rather than what I didn't.
I get to wake up every morning to an incredible view of the beach,
I have a great job
where I get to watch two of the smartest, funniest, most entertaining little girls
I think I've ever met.
I don't have many friends here, but I do know a few,
who are always up to take me out and show me what's special about this place.
And while no one likes to live with their parents,
for the time being, I've got two pretty cool roommates,
who help and support me in my absolutely insane mindset
that I belong on the other side of the world.
Once I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture,
I realized that life really isn't as bad as it may have seemed.
And since then,
I've finally been able to find happiness here.
I've been more inclined to spend my time outside, exploring what's around me,
I've found an unknown love for the water
(I still don't know how it's possible, but I ALWAYS want to be in it),
and while I thought I was a cold-weather loving girl,
Florida has been converting me into loving this feel-good warm weather.
I've got so many amazingly great things to look forward to,
things I have been working my ass off to get to.
My dreams are finally coming true, and my life in the real-world is about to begin
in just a few short months.
But instead of spending all of my time looking forward to the future,
I want to focus on today, and enjoy what's around me.
So while I don't plan to be here forever,
I'm pretty happy that I get to be for a little while longer.



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